The Family Pie is comprised of eight elements necessary for a relationship to be triumphant, meaningful, long lasting, and most importantly, satisfying.  The eight elements are: Communication, Trust, Honesty, Respect, Emotional Support, Intimacy, Self-Worth, and Mutual Interests.  All eight of these elements must be present in some form for a relationship to truly last, and for both parties to feel their needs are being met.  None of the elements is more important than another, but they all build on each other.  There are no percentages of any kind related to these eight elements; it does not matter what proportion they are as long as each element is represented in your pie.  Everyone is different and everyone needs a different amount of each element.  The important thing to remember is that EACH element must be represented each and every day.  Some days, you may need more emotional support then others, and other days you may need to be reminded of your self-worth.  Some days, your need to talk is less than other days, but the need is still there to fulfill.  Your life changes every day with each decision you make and each action you take.  Based on these decisions and actions, your Family Pie elements may, and should, shift. 

Remember that these elements are not only what you give or share, but also what you take or receive in return.  You personally may not need a great deal of emotional support, but that may not be true for your significant other.  Learning and understanding these elements are only a part of what makes this tool successful; how you apply the tool is of equal importance.  As the saying goes, more often than not, it is not only what you say but how you say it.  The same logic applies to The Family Pie: it is not only knowing the eight elements, but understanding how and when to use them.  If you want to make a difference in your life, it has to start with you. 

The Family Pie can only be successful if each element is represented.  Everyone has their own pie and everyone’s needs are different.  Each section of the pie must have something in it, and be customized to that particular person, or the pie will be off balance.  Think of the pie spinning on an axis.  If all of the pieces or elements within the pie are represented, then it will continue to spin with balance.  If you start to eliminate pieces of the pie, then it will become unbalanced and spin out of control.  Once the pie degenerates into a pattern of spinning out of control, it takes a great deal of time and energy to replace or rebuild pieces of the pie while it is in motion.  This is a messy and confusing situation to be in, but one that can be corrected once your pie is reestablished and you start refilling your sections. Your life continues to spin, without pause.  In this roller coaster of life, there are ups and downs, and even times when you feel as if you are being turned upside down; but with this tool, this simple tool, you can help control these twists and turns and be better prepared for the next loop.