Respect and trust are two of the three elements that are time-sensitive (honestly is the third).  You learn to respect people once you gain insight as to who they are and what they stand for.  You learn this over time by their actions.  Trust and respect are closely related, but should not be thought of as one and the same.  Respect is gained through a series of events over time.  The way you treat others, talk to others, or act towards others shows your level of respect.  In return, you will be respected in the same way you show your own respect.  This is where trust plays into respect: it is not possible to respect someone whom you do not trust. 

As I mentioned before, think of The Family Pie as distinct elements that build on each other.  This is particularly true for these two elements, trust and respect.  If you think about past relationships, have you ever trusted someone whom you did not respect?  Can you respect a person if you cannot trust them?  The answer should be “no”.   Now think of your current relationship.  There should be obvious trust and respect, otherwise why are you with that person?  Do they respect you, just as you show them respect?  You may have to think about this before you answer, and that is alright.  That is how you know if respect is something you need to work on in your relationship.  This would be a good time, then, to have a conversation around respect, if you feel you are not getting that in your current relationship.    

            To respect someone, you must get a deeper understanding of who they are and where they came from.  Get to know that person, ask questions: how did they get here; why are they here, and where do they want to go?  You may also want to find out how they will get there; this will tell you a lot about the person.  The more you know about someone, the more you respect them, or alternatively, find out that you don’t.  You have to know someone in order to truly respect them.  With respect and trust comes responsibility.  Taking responsibility and admitting when you are wrong is a very difficult thing to do, but one that is necessary for longevity in any relationship, and it is necessary to gain respect.